Tender Is The Snout

Delving further into the recesses of the memory of my last trip to Thailand, smack in the middle of monsoon season and as a bleary eyed Student (with a capital S, possibly also in italics) the aromas were definitely something that stuck with me. but things my English borne young snout had not yet encountered. These included pungent meaty snacks being prepared on the street, the kind of sticky decay that only seems to inhabit the crease between pavements and roads and the odd baby elephant lumbering down the Khao San road. I remember all of these smells heightened tenfold by the dense, warm air that wound its way around everything and into the aforementioned tender, young snout. This may not sound particularly pleasant but to a nose used to smelling everything (and usually only things like bus tickets and salt and vinegar snacks) through English winter damp or crispy summertime it really was a nasal awakening.

I was cheered by a chance to continue this sensory journey into the aromatic beyond with a brand new trip to the wonderful land of Thai with my Smirnoffers. This time things were different yet again. The smells were different, the heavy grip of a pre monsoon atmosphere was swapped for something a lot clearer and altogether cleaner. The nose was still happy though. Happy was the nose.


Also happy were eyes, brain and feet. They decided to flee the hotel upon arrival and head straight to Khao San for cheap noodles and to dive headfirst into the backpacker nightlife. Thai Backpacker nightlife is a bit like being a student again but at some kind of International Uni...where soap is scarce... Anyway original it really is not. Lots of theme bars called things like Jonny McIrishs Paddy Murphy bar and warm beer. Hmmmm not so useful for my eternal hunt for new and surprising nightlife but fun nonethless and definitely worth a whirl or two.




Having put the brain into gear I decided to tail Kung, our Thai member to Culture Club - a more glamorous looking joint offering the finest in Thai Drum n Bass. Boasting an impressive attitude to air conditioning and colourful lighting, Culture Club attracts International DJs but saves space for local Thai talent to entertain its roomy dancefloor. The feet particularly loved this place and decided to follow Kung around a few more places before ending up in the rather brilliant GOD club.



In my search for originality thus far I have managed to avoid dancing on a runway with a gang of half naked men wearing leather thongs and chains. How tragic I hear you say. I agreed and dutifully did my bit for the cause. Aside from the near naked writhing GOD also offers some great original drinks including the bright red Rockapolitan.
Once the lights had gone up in GOD and the sweaty masses prodded out onto the street the nose led me once again to wonderful roadside Thai cuisine and later the feet back to my plush double bed.

Thailand, me, myself and my various extremities salute you. Glad to be back. Next stop: The Islands...

India 2

India 2


So, after realising there was nothing he could do to save his brother from the electric chair, Michael Schofield did the only thing he could- rob a bank and get INSIDE the prison to try and break him out.

Wandering the halls of the ‘Sand and Sea’ hotel in Mumbai I began to empathise with this feeling. Although I doubt in Prison Break they pipe in a trumpeted version of ‘Strangers In The Night’ to every last orifice of the building. I could still understand the escapist urges though. However, instead of a wrongful conviction for murdering the vice president’s brother, it was a hurt foot keeping me inside. This did not stop me surveying the gaps in the security of my air-conditioned cell however.

To keep myself vicariously entertained I extracted information on the nightlife in Mumbai from my fellow Smirnoffers. who told me all about Mumbai and the nightlife to be had.

Turns out, Blue Frog is the place to be. A trendy little joint opened recently by a group of artists, musicians and their investment banker mate, Blue Frog is a restaurant, nightclub, studio and sound stage. During the week the finest in Indian talent graces their stage and at weekends international hip-hop, reggae and jazz acts are invited to perform. Cast your eye over the menu before ordering though. Through my Venetian blinds I witnessed many a Smirnoff Ten member trudging up our driveway with empty pockets after ordering a few vodka tonics.

Another place worth trying is Toto’s Garage hidden behind some bushes in downtown Mumbai. The former garage (who would have known) serves up a friendly blend of theme bar style décor contrasted with incredibly camp cocktails and impromptu dance-a-thons both on and behind the bar. I actually made it to this one bound in bandages and did a quick hop around the place grasping a neon blue martini glass garnished with cherries and sugar.